In this blog we look at one of this years Real Weddings with Rasha and Neil. This ceremony incorporated so much fun and love as well as cultural and religious references that it was a dream to research and write and I feel like I have gained two really good friends along the way.
Where: Down Hall Hotel & Spa, Hertfordshire. https://www.downhall.co.uk/weddings
When: August 2024
Who: Rasha and Neil
1st Contact: I received an enquiry form from my website after I had been recommended to Rasha and Neil from the team at Down Hall in February this year. After a video call we planned our first meeting in April and met at the venue along with Neil’s daughter Michelle and their dog Molly who were both to play an integral role in the proceedings.
Rasha is Persian and therefore of Muslim faith so it was important to her to include some Muslim references into their ceremony and quotes from the Koran. This was music to my ears and so I got researching various texts and traditions to see what we could include and integrate into the ceremony. She also sent me a couple of links to readings and material that might be useful and away we went.
The next time I met Neil and Rasha was at a Down Hall open day and we were able to review some of the content and ideas whilst planning logistics as they made the last minute bookings with service providers such as their ceremonial musicians and toastmaster.
Wedding Day: As usual, I arrived early and found Mav Duo warming up their Cello and Harp combo, and the room dressers were finishing off the chair sashes. I checked in with Neil to find him cool and calm in his blue suede shoes, with Michelle and his grandson Luca who was having great fun whizzing the snooker balls across the table. I prepared my ceremony space and then waited for the nod to let me know the bride was on her way. Simon the Toastmaster and I have worked together before and so we know how the other works and who is responsible for what so we had a quick check in and then we were ready to go.
Rasha was preceded into the ceremony room by her bridesmaids and Maid of Honour before she was escorted into the room by her nephew, Omar. Once everyone had been seated we commenced the ceremony with a reading of a poem by Lebanese poet Khalil Gibran who referenced a couple being unified but also individual, which segued nicely into a section where the Koran says “We come in pairs” and how all things in life are united in pairs and it is so with humanity too. I really loved writing this, it had such a warm feel to it and flowed in a way that was almost melodic, a style I am not always afforded when writing ceremonies for others.
Rasha and Neil choose to repeat vows to each other but also took the time to write their own, reflecting on their relationship and how they were going to celebrate their life and love together in the future. I never once managed to read them without crying and I’m glad that in the ceremony I was so focused on what was happening and helping the couple with glasses etc that they didn’t impact me quite as much or else I might have still been there blubbing at how romantic and humorous they were.
Celebrant Led: It was really important to Neil and Rasha that they were able to celebrate their beliefs, religion and cultures, however there was no single way to do this – so instant they had three ceremonies – a Muslim wedding, a Civil Ceremony to legalise it and then a hybrid with myself which allowed their friends and family to merge the Muslim with the English in a way that would not be permitted with a registrar (religious references are not allowed).
What was important to me was that we struck the right balance and made Rasha, her family and their heritage, seen and recognised as well as celebrating the clear and obvious love and adoration she has for Neil and vice versa. I had barely any notes in our review meeting because they were both so pleased with the script and this made my heart joyous because I knew how much I had loved creating it. All that was left for me to do was help when it came to styling (what vows should go in what order from Neil) and ceremonial logistics (who walks down the aisle when to what music and where they will stand) – easy peasy!
The down side of this job is that we sometimes make really great connections and the video calls we have together are like little family check ins where we share all our news and adventures and I think I am going to miss that about these two – though I am welcome to Zoom them apparently. We had such fun, you can see by the photo what I got when I asked for squidge – I’ve never squealed so loud at a formal ceremony before!!
Neil took the time to send some feedback on Google a couple of weeks later which I was thrilled to receive;We had a great time.
“Shelley listened offered advice and structured the ceremony exactly as we wanted, but also made changes that we would never have thought of.
Her bubbly demeanour made us feel very comfortable and easy to approach, with any changes.
She joined us at Down Hall Hotel and Spa in August. What a day it was.”
I wish them both all the love and luck in the world for a long and happy marriage.
Supplier Love:
Venue: Down Hall.
Ceremonial Music: Mav Duo https://www.mavduo.com/
Toast Master: Simon https://www.mastertoastmaster.co.uk/
Photographer: Aaron Crowe https://aaroncrowe.co.uk/photography
Videographer: James Garrett https://wedding-reel.co.uk/about-us/
Hair and Make Up: Gail Gardener https://gailgardner.co.uk/
