In this blog we look back at the wedding ceremony of Chris and Gary, their vision, their skill at involving lots of people to be a part of the day in some way and the way their individualism brought their personalities and sense of humour to the front of their occasion – including a very special ring bearer.
Where: Little Baddow Memorial Hall, Chelmsford. https://littlebaddowmemorialhall.org.uk/
When: November 2024 
Who: Gary and Chris have been a couple for twenty years – neither of them look old enough! They held their wedding on their anniversary as a special way of celebrating with their nearest and dearest.
It was poignant how much had changed for them both during the time they had been together. Dating sites for same sex couples were only just starting to emerge and you couldn’t even get married as a same sex couple then! They have been through some significant life changes – coming out, buying property together, bereavement, significant illness, redundancy – all of the things on a list of ‘Life’s Most Stressful Occasions’ and now, a wedding!!
1st Contact: Now, many years ago, Gary and I worked on the same region in Supermarket Land, I was based in Witham and he was in Tiptree but we often would do ‘Assessment Centres’ together to identify the new intake of trainee managers and we had an uncanny knack of being able to identify who was hot and who was not by the end of the introductions!
Via the wonder of social media we managed to stay in touch over the years once I had left supermarkets and had a few cheeky Nando’s together whilst setting the world to rites so when I saw that Gary was finally planning his wedding to Chris (who I had only met once!) I messaged them to see if I could help.
The first meeting was an eye opener for all of us. They had thought they might have their ceremony in Essex Records Office, in a fairly soul less municipal room with a registrar and then go on to a small function room for a beige buffet – now, that did not sound like a celebration to me and reflected none of their personalities at all!
So we got chatting about locations, licences, personalising, guest lists, websites and so on to see if we could generate a bit more interest and excitement in the occasion for them, bearing in mind this meeting was in April and they were due to get married in November of the same year – gulp!
After a planning meeting where I got more acquainted with Chris and reacquainted with Gary we built a plan, set up a whatsapp group and the boys got to work enlisting the help and support of their closest friends to create everything from the decorations to the wedding cake. By the end of the next day we had a website active and invitations created and we were off.
Wedding Day: I had seen the hall a couple of weeks before their wedding and it was a typical village hall, complete with squeaky floor and a stage for the local AmDram society. There was no garden to speak of so the photographer suggested meeting in a local beauty spot to get some great photos in amongst the falling autumn leaves – a reflection of the colour scape that went through all the decorations. We had talked a couple of minor logistics and felt better that we knew what the plan was, expertly reflected in Chris’ superb schedule of events complete with names and contact numbers and floor plans (he definitely has a job as an event planner if he needs one)!
I arrived early and met the gorgeous Ella Rose (https://www.instagram.com/ellarose.sings/) who was to be our musical accompaniment – first hitch was where we had planned to locate her had no power supply so she was found a more suitable location. The catering team were making gorgeous smells and the bar team had set up a dazzling array of drinks ready for impending guests.
I met James (music) and Alec (carpark and greeter) and we talked through what was happening when. James had only just received the music choices and so I set him up with the running order and thankfully Ella had an adaptor which meant we could connect James’ phone to a PA and we were ready to go. I walked through what was happening where with the photographer, the gorgeous Antonio (https://www.antoniofrigeni.com/about) who was the nicest guy possible.
As the guests arrived the excitement was palpable and the sound increased significantly as people met for the first time or for the first time for a long time, even I got to meet some familiar faces again after a good fifteen years!
Our wedding party where called from the local pub to attend the hall whilst we seated the guests. I welcomed everyone and settled them in with some housekeeping, James then hit play to Ella Fitzgeralds ‘At Last’ and the Grooms-maids walked in. The music was switched up as the boys reached the top of the aisle to Abba’s ‘I d0, I do, I do’ as the girls danced down the aisle and in front of the stage to allow guests to take photos and then they were up on the stage to join me.
We had a hand-fasting as they made their vows and then a ring exchange where the ring-bearer was their gorgeous cockapoo Violet, escorted by Chris’ glamorous mum Tyrena. The readings where a mix of whimsical and heartfelt and solicited the right oh’s and ah’s and even a couple of tears from the audience, though we also roared laughing as Gary quipped away in the script with the odd “Oh, I say” and double entendre.
Celebrant Led: The benefit of being the celebrant in this wedding was I had the opportunity to offer a personalised service to people I knew and so it was a little easier to get their essence into the script. We also worked a lot closer on detail so on the day execution was more efficient and that meant that Chris and Gary could enjoy their day and all the effort they had put in – I recommended they booked themselves a spa day after the weekend to just chill and enjoy each others company.
The hall does not hold a wedding licence either so they would not have been able to use a registrar but the benefit was that what they saved on the venue they could spend on the decoration to get a visual effect that was just stunning.
It was a real joy to be a part of Chris and Gary’s special day and judging by the feedback I received afterwards it was a real showstopper of a ceremony and exactly befitting their personalities. I wish them all the very best for their futures as Husbands for Life.
